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The Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles

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The Four Sublime Questions

Now, to make new Turtles, you shall ask the Four Sublime Questions:

1. What does a gentleman do standing up, a lady does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?

2. What is a four-letter word, ending in the letter k, that means the same as intercourse?

3. What is so long, and so hard, and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas in the morning, that he could hang a hat upon it?

4. What does a cow of four of and a woman has two of?

More Questions

1. What is long, hard, and tubular and filled with "sea-men?"

2. What is a word begins with "F" and ends in "UCK"?

3. What does a dog do that a man steps into?

4. What goes in hard and dry and comes out flaccid and moist?

5. What is six inches long, has a head on it and is the object of many women's fantasies?

6. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. What am I?

7. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What am I?

8. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?

9. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't a maiden for long. A big hard thing ripped me open. What am I?

10. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?

11. When I go in I cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

12. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

13. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

14. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

15. I offer Protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

16. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?
17. My business is briefs. I am a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it. What am I?

18. Name a word that is four letters long, end in u-n-t, which is a word for a woman.

19. What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands.

20 What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?

21. What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages?

22. What is it that all men have one of; that is longer on some men than others, that the Pope doesn't use, and that a man gives to his wife after they're married?

23. What is it on a man that gets very large when he is excited?



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